Weird al yankovic - Hardware store Lyrics

[sound effects from tools]

Nothin ever ever happens in this town
Feelin low down down, not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news

He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they re gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"

Since then I ve been walking on air air
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
Cause I m so excited and I really don t care
I ve been waiting since last June

For this day to finally arrive
I m so happy happy now just to be alive
Cause any minute now I m gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon

I can t wait, no I I can t wait oh when
When are they gonna open the door?
I m goin yes I m goin , I m a goin to the
Goin to the hard ware I m goin , really goin to the
Goin hard I m goin to the hard oh yes, I m goin to the
Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line

Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine

Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically

And they re doing a promotional stunt
There s a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free

I can t wait, no I I can t wait oh when
When are they gonna open the door?
I m goin yes I m goin , I m a goin to the
Goin to the hard ware I m goin , really goin to the
Goin hard I m goin to the hard oh yes, I m goin to the
Hardware store

I m goin yes I m goin , I m a goin to the
Goin to the hard ware I m goin , really goin to the
Goin hard I m goin to the hard oh yes, I m goin to the
Hardware store

Would you look at all that stuff ...
They ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tacks, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can t wait, no I I can t wait oh when
When are they gonna open the door?
I m goin yes I m goin , I m a goin to the
Goin to the hard ware I m goin , really goin to the
Goin hard I m goin to the hard oh yes, I m goin to the
Hardware store

I m goin yes I m goin , I m a goin to the
Goin to the hard ware I m goin , really goin to the
Goin hard I m goin to the hard oh yes, I m goin to the
Hardware store

I m goin yes I m goin , I m a goin to the
Goin to the hard ware I m goin , really goin to the
Goin hard I m goin to the hard oh yes, I m goin to the
Hardware store

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